SELF PUBLISHING-HOW TO EXPLAIN TO YOUR GRANDMA WHY SHE CAN’T BUY IT AT COSTCO

I am now a self-published author. Yay! But it also feels a little like cheating. It’s definitely more work than I thought it would be. My plan was to publish through Kindle’s KDP and watch as my little book fizzled out to nothing. As it turns out I’m more ambitious than I thought or my little book (Occasus) has grabbed me by pant leg like a cute puppy and won’t let go. With big puppy eyes. I swear everytime I think of leaving my book to itself, I get imaginary puppy eyes. Which is weird as I don’t think there’s even a dog in my book.

So I’ve been twittering, facebooking and nagging every person I know to get the kindle app and buy my book. Thus a generation gap ensues.

I just returned from getting married, very adult, I’ll admit. So I was seeing lots of relatives and friends I hadn’t seen for years. And of course the book came up, purely organically of course. Then the questions started, “Who’s your publisher?”- well, me sorta and Amazon I suppose. “But I can buy it at a store?”-Absolutely, at the online Amazon store. “And they’ll mail me a copy?”-by mail if you mean through the magic internet waves then yes. “On paper?”-Awww, no. See you have to get this app or a kindle. And then you can read it anywhere you like, on your phone, tablet, computer. Really this is the future of books! “So it’s not really, real then?”-Hmmm, have you tried the wedding cake yet…

Not that people haven’t been supportive and I think Amazon owes me for several people dusting off those kindles they received at Christmas and never used. But do I feel like a real writer? Not yet. But then I don’t feel like I’m a wife yet either. Maybe it just takes some time to get used to. Or maybe I need the physical copy. Or maybe ten books, three Man Booker Prizes and Stephen King telling me I’m his favourite author, I’ll still feel like a fraud.

But then I know lots of successful people that feel uncomfortable with calling themselves comedians, dancers or video game programmers. Maybe that’s how you know what you are doing, is the thing you are supposed to be doing.

Because if it doesn’t feel real, what you’re doing, must be freaking awesome.

Originally posted - August 20, 2014